Being or Doing? Slowing down helps you
Always busy and never standing still
Many people who come to my practice tell me that they spend most of their time doing. They work, take care of others, solve problems, and keep going, even when they feel exhausted. This is understandable. Our lives often reward productivity and staying busy. Yet I often see that real change begins when people allow themselves to slow down and notice what they are feeling.
What does it mean to simply be?
By “being,” I mean becoming aware of what is happening inside you in the present moment. This includes noticing your emotions, your physical sensations, and your inner experiences. Feelings such as sadness, anxiety, anger, or loneliness may come and go throughout the day. When we make space for these emotions, we begin to understand ourselves better. Many people find this difficult because they are used to thinking, analyzing, or immediately trying to solve problems.
When doing becomes a way to avoid feelings
Doing is different. It involves taking action, completing tasks, and focusing on goals. Of course, doing is an important part of life. We work, care for our families, and manage our responsibilities. Problems often arise when doing becomes our only way of coping. Some people stay constantly busy to avoid difficult emotions. In the short term, this may help them feel more in control. Over time, however, it can lead to stress, exhaustion, or a sense of losing touch with themselves.
Creating a safe space to feel
In therapy, both being and doing are important. My first task as a therapist is to create a safe and accepting environment where you can be yourself. When people feel seen, heard, and understood, they often begin to connect with their emotions more deeply. I frequently notice a shift during sessions: clients stop talking about their experiences and begin to feel them. This can feel unfamiliar or even surprising. People often say, “I didn’t know this affected me so deeply,” or “I didn’t expect these feelings to come up today.”
Listening to what emotions are telling
When we pay attention to our emotions, we often discover valuable information. Feelings can show us what matters to us, where our boundaries are, or what needs are not being met. Instead of relying only on thoughts and analysis, we learn to listen to our emotional experience as well. Together, we explore what these feelings mean and how they relate to your life. Change then becomes more than a mental process; it becomes something that is felt and understood on a deeper level.
Living more in line with yourself
In my practice, I see many people who long for greater calm, clarity, and connection with themselves. This does not mean that we need to stop doing altogether. Rather, it means making time to notice what is happening inside us. By giving our emotions attention, we can make choices that are more in line with who we are and what truly matters to us. If this resonates with you and you are curious about how therapy might help, I warmly invite you to schedule an introductory conversation.